Recently, I have wondered how much my definition of "beauty" and "sexiness" mirrors the definition thrust upon all women by our surroundings. I am a multi-racial woman who grew up in a not-so multi-racial community where "beauty" meant thin, perky [and often] straight-haired. As I reached my mid-twenties I discovered that I actually like myself and altering my exterior will not alter the confidence that comes from some place much deeper. Yet, I cannot shake the constant "compliments" from my Caucasian friends as I leave the salon. You know, the ones proclaiming that I should really "think about getting my hair permanently straightened" that "you look so beautiful! I mean, you look nice with curly hair too but this looks better" or "you look like Beyonce"... I'm not quite sure what that last one even means because I'm sure if we ever saw Beyonce chillin' around the house without her glam squad that SHE wouldn't even "look like Beyonce"...but I digress.
I put it to you, blog readers, are strong women still forgoing their "natural" [whatever that may mean for them] solely because of external pressures? Is that some sort of internal betrayal? And for my mixed ladies, by consciously choosing a certain style, will we forever be placing a facet of our heritage on the back burner?
While one's personal style should always evolve, to those who ask me why I won't chemically alter myself let me say THAT is NOT up for debate. These are the curls of my mother, great-grandmother, father and those who fought like hell so I could have the freedom to write the words I choose and the free time to worry about my hair.
~carter
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| This is me after a blow-dry and flat iron. |
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| This is my face with its naturally curly hair surrounding it |
Love the post. Just to add, I'm white but with curly hair. I get the same darn comments about "oh you look (would look) so great with straight hair. you should permanently straighten it." In HS I straightened it. In my early 30's I REALLY got to loving my curls.
ReplyDeleteI went through this phase later on (and I've VERY self confident) of blowing it out straight. I was high up in a very straight-laced industry, the woman said the same thing and I wanted to "look professional". Until the day a man of my heart said "I prefer it when you just let it go wild." BINGO - that was the "take home to mother" man.
I came to the conclusion that curls in some way represent freedom, independence and uniqueness. And those who have difficulty being their own true and unique self are usually the once who want you to straighten the hair the most! The curls make them uneasy and provokes their own inner voice asking them - are they being true to themselves or simply conforming b/c it's easier.
So perhaps also a lesson too in being perceptive to other people's agendas. Regardless - Curl On!
Amen! Curl On! Thanks so much for your comment...it's great to know someone is reading!
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