10 Reasons Why This Generation Only Reads Things Written In a List Format

1) Somewhere between Hop On Pop, The Great Gatsby and whatever tome you were required [but chose not] to read in your college Lit class, someone forgot to tell you that reading critically is good for the soul.  
There is a very realistic possibility that you will not enjoy every page of every written work put before you. Through the laws of schooling, I believe this possibility is made even greater when it is a teacher suggesting the work in question. Students turn into conditioned adults who mirror the attitudes of the literacy practices forced upon them. Articles written as lists get to the point more quickly and allow those against reading lengthy passages an alternative. Maybe you don't consider yourself a "reader" because you are too worried about liking the material and not focusing on the inherently exciting Nancy Drew [or Hardy Boy] sleuthing that occurs even when you read the worst junk. Reading critically means actively assessing the material as you go along. Figure out holes in the author's argument, discover how you would change it and for the love of Hemingway, do not be a passive reader. Which brings me to...

2) You are allowed to do less work.
While the act of reading should be a choreographed give-and-take between the author and the reader, list articles remove the cognitive challenge. Thus, the author is given the task to condense the rant of an otherwise brilliant oeuvre into a veritable outline. You're Welcome.

3) Lists are fun!
Right? 

4) It's easier to tweet what you have read if it's already spelled out for you.

5) The last "novel" you read was Twilight and if there aren't vampires involved you cannot be bothered to read anything without sequential ordering.

6) You are half expecting a list to be funnier than something written in verse.
Think about it, did Dickens ever write a book made as a list? Nope. And I'm sure if Homer took the time to enumerate The Odyssey, they'd be flying off the shelves. 

1. Sing to me, muse.
2. Where has Odysseus gone, now? 

7) For all the love and heartache your favorite English teacher put into providing you with a variety of literary tactics, "skimming" is the only skill you remember. 

8) You think you don't have the time to read anything longer. 
Yet, if you add the amount of time spent gawking at cute kittens GIFs and ecards, divide by the number of new girlfriends your ex-boyfriend acquired [thus forcing you to social media stalk on an hourly basis] then you end up with a sum greater or equal to the value of The Book Thief [one of my all time favorite books which I highly recommend you find the time to read]. 

9) You don't "like to read".
Seriously? Next time you see a STOP sign, enjoy not reading it and let me know how that works out for you. Literacy is a gift, people. 

10)  Because no one has told you reading a book is sexy.  
 So, fellas [this could easily be changed to "ladies" but let me talk to the fellas for a second] imagine you have finally reached the coveted age of 21. You know you look incredible and cannot wait for the good looking woman at the end of the bar to notice you. Suddenly, she looks up and smiles. This is your first bar interaction so you aren't sure if you should go to her but she seems pretty experienced and walks right up to you and puts her hand on your shoulder. Take it from me, there will never be a time, a bar or a corner of the world in which this woman leads with, "So, read any good lists, lately?"


Be prepared. Read a book. 


~carter