Excuse Me, Sirs, Who Raised You and Can They Demand a Refund?

Let me start by setting the scene: 
A man and I are walking together and a puddle is obstructing our next steps. If said individual removes any article of clothing to allow me a smoother puddle transition, I will giggle at him and his sodden outerwear. While you are appreciated, hypothetical person, your archaic gestures could use some updating. 

This is not a post bemoaning the absence of chivalry. Chivalry is alive and kicking for those who expect it and choose their mates accordingly. 

This is also not a post enumerating how the boyfriends and husbands of the world could do a better job at being more boyfriend-y or husband-y because quite frankly, ladies, these are the men you have chosen. I would assume you enjoyed something about the factory model so do not complain when they do not change. 

This is, instead, a post about the 21^st century men whose mating rituals leave something to be desired. 

Every bipedal female has experienced it. A catcall here, a car honk there and [for we dazzling urbanites] the occasional, clichéd, construction man hoot-n-holler. Sure, there is a time and a place to feel like a piece of ass, like when you are leaving the gym in your sweatiest sweat pants and someone still manages to find you attractive; that’s perfectly acceptable. Barring this very specific instance, however, women [on average] do not enjoy being treated or gazed upon like juicy burgers to voracious individuals. Flattery is not evoked. Hearts are not aflutter. And your chances of procreating with a woman steadfast in the knowledge of her self worth continues to diminish the moment disrespect masks itself as interest. There are only so many “Hey Baby”, “Let me talk to you for a minute”, “Can I holler”, “So, you got a man?”, and inebriated interactions one can take before she realizes no one has any idea what they’re doing anymore.

As someone without a husband or a son, I am making a pretty bold statement when I say: I believe mothers need to start demanding more of their male progeny. A man with a strong role model [male or female] will recognize that “having game’” is an ephemeral notion that is entirely dependent on current fads. Possessing the characteristics of a gentleman, however, will always be in style. While we are not expecting your best dinner jacket to line the intersection after a rainfall, similar sentiments such as concern, respect, and self-giving are pretty en vogue regardless of the century.  

It has been my dream to [one day] produce enough cultivated, driven, and compassionate male heirs to aid my Alma Mater’s ailing football program [GO BOSTON COLLEGE EAGLES!]. And while I am only somewhat joking, the truth is, I am excited by the possibility of producing strong-willed and strong-minded men who truly comprehend what “being cool” is: I will nurture men who will dress well, men who will look every person in the eye when they are speaking or being spoken to, men who disagree without being disagreeable, men who are proud of their flaws and work each day to contribute positively to the lives around them, and men who understand that their mother demanded to be loved respectfully and did not stop searching for their father until she found it. Strength is gender neutral. A real man has the strength of a woman who reared him and the strength of the woman standing beside him to thank for his ability to have swag [whatever that is] through the ages. And no matter how audible and deliberate the whistling or hollering, a real woman has the strength to keep walking.

~carter